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Marilee J. Layman

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05:44 pm: Last Night and Today

Thank you so much, folks. It makes me feel stronger to know so many people care. This is an early picture of him, and here's the most recent, on the new cat blankie:

Shiva always liked the chair in the former dining room because he could see the living room, dining room, and up and down the hallway. When I noticed him sitting there so often, I put a towel on the chair to make it softer (and washed the towel every week). Last night I was sitting in the recliner, beading, and at 11pm I needed to get something from the workroom. As I passed by the dining room cat chair, I petted his head and he rubbed his face on my hand. I went back and beaded more until right at midnight, he fell off the chair and died. I wrapped him up with the towel and went to the recliner and petted him for a while.

I needed to put him somewhere safe and where I could pick him up today, so he ended up in the towel and in the guest bath sink, where he became rigid overnight in a strange position. Spirit looked for him frequently last night and I think I slept about three hours.

My gyn called this morning and the results of the biopsy are fine. I got the check from the title company via UPS (when the mortgage was finally costed out, I got a bit of money) and set that up for deposit. I pulled my little collapsible cart from the van and put Shiva's body in it and took him out to the back of the van. I deposited the check, took him to the vet practice that will send him to be cremated (Alexandria is a long way for me to drive, plus I can't keep a dead pet in the house -- no room in the fridge), dropped a DVD off at the post office, and was early to the psych appointment. He offered me Xanax for the stress of this, but I think crying when you talk about a dead pet is reasonable.

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[User Picture]
Date:August 31st, 2009 10:36 pm (UTC)

I'm so sorry

It hurts to lose a dear friend. Much sympathy and hugs across the e-ways.
Date:August 31st, 2009 11:23 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry, Marilee. Poor you.
Date:August 31st, 2009 11:57 pm (UTC)
It's very reasonable to cry about your pet -- heck, I cry over other people's pets dying almost as much as my own.

Shiva was a splendid cat who had a wonderful life with you and Spirit. I hope that your memories of him will comfort you in the days to come.
[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 12:15 am (UTC)
My sympathies on your loss of Shiva. From his pictures he was a handsome cat, and from your stories I know that the two of you meant a lot to each other.

I agree that crying when you talk about a dead pet is reasonable, as are other ways of expressing grief. Possibly the psych guy wanted to know that medication is available to you if you need it. Possibly it was meant as a way to reach out to you as a fellow human being, one not restricted by a need to keep an emotional reserve.
[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 02:05 am (UTC)
I'm very glad that the results of your biopsy are fine. And that Shiva passed easily. But how awful for you. I'm sorry for your loss. Of course crying in the aftermath of such a loss is to expected. But it *is* a terrible stress and there is nothing wrong with taking Xanax to ease things for yourself if it would help. If I'd had healthcare when I lost Shadow I'd have been happy to take something. Poor Spirit doesn't have that option. My sympathies to you both. I hope the heavy sadness passes soon and your memories bring you much joy. He was a great cat and I enjoyed his stories.
[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 02:52 am (UTC)
So sorry to hear this. Condolences
[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 03:23 am (UTC)
Oh, no, I'm so sorry. He was such a goofy affectionate guy, or so it seemed from your writings. It doesn't even seem that long since you last lost a cat. Poor Spirit, she'll be so cold.

I'm VERY glad your biopsy came back all right.

Date:September 1st, 2009 03:32 am (UTC)

your loss

I am glad your biopsy went well.

Crying when you talk about your dead pet is more than just reasonable -- it is part of what makes you the good person you are.

[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 06:30 am (UTC)
Oh I'm so sorry! You are a great cat mommy, Shiva was so lucky. Such a cutie, too. He will be missed.
[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 07:05 am (UTC)
I'm sorry you've lost him, Marilee, and glad that he went fast and peacefully.
[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 07:18 am (UTC)
This is so... sudden. I am sorry.
[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 09:54 am (UTC)
Thank you for sharing the pictures - he was a beautiful cat. (And look. Booooks. I *like* your home.)

crying when you talk about a dead pet is reasonable

It's entirely normal. I can't imagine not crying. They are part of your life for years, and each of them is an individual that will be missed.
Date:September 1st, 2009 10:16 am (UTC)


I'm so sorry to hear this, Marilee. I know how much your cats mean to you and have meant to you over the years. I only wish I was closer so that I could help you out a bit more, but you and Spirit are in my daily thoughts. Hugs to you, my friend. Sandi Graves
[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 10:40 am (UTC)
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I'm glad the biopsy results were fine though.

[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 11:25 am (UTC)
Ah, damn. I'm sorry for your loss.
[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 11:53 am (UTC)
Good to hear the biopsy was OK and about the money from the refinance.

And of course crying about the loss of Shiva is more than reasonable. That cat-shaped hole in your life is a huge one. Hang on to the good memories. Shiva was a lucky cat to have you.

If you feel like company later this week, let me know. (I'm giving a neighbor a ride home from the hospital after his gullbadder surgery yesterday so I'm tied up at home at the moment waiting to hear when he'll be released.)
Date:September 1st, 2009 03:58 pm (UTC)
Oh Marilee, I'm so sorry to hear about your precious Shiva...
My heart goes out to you and Spirit.
Saby (BeaderCat)
Date:September 1st, 2009 04:38 pm (UTC)
Oh, Marilee,
I am so terribly sorry about Shiva's death.
And, yes, crying is a very reasonable response to the loss of a much loved pet.
[User Picture]
Date:September 1st, 2009 07:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks, everybody. I keep thinking I see him around a corner or passing by.
[User Picture]
Date:September 2nd, 2009 08:26 am (UTC)
I am very sorry to hear this. It sounds like he went peacefully, and in his favourite spot. And he certainly had lots of love.
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