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Marilee J. Layman

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July 28th, 2011

10:25 pm: Not Two of My Better Days

I mentioned a lot of pain on Tuesday and it's still there. I'm also constantly sleepy, but I think that's because I'm not eating. I just had a pizza delivered because that's not hard to put on a plate and eat. I hope that helps.

I didn't get to sleep at 11pm on Tuesday night -- I was in so much pain that I stayed awake until I took the trash & recycling out and went to get labs and then got home yesterday. I went through the mail and went to sleep at 11am, just taking care of the cats first. I woke up early today at 2am and stayed awake until 9am. I went to check yesterday's mail, since my check might have come, but it hadn't. I'd already noticed I wasn't eating, so I went by McDonalds for my regular breakfast there. When I got home, I opened the box of books and then the envelope of meds. Well, big surprise. The eye drops have raised their price, so even though Kaiser paid for part of it, I was paying $150 more than usual (which is going to be a problem until the end of the year). I didn't have that much money in my checking account (close to getting my check), so I called lizzibabe at the credit union and asked if I could give her the credit card number to put in my account. Unfortunately, they don't allow that, so I rushed over -- it was almost 90F -- and lizzibabe got a chair for me so I could sit while I waited for the card to be processed and then walked me out to my van. I think she noticed I wasn't doing very well, and I really appreciate her help.

I got home, sat in the recliner briefly, and then went to bed at noon. I woke up at 5pm (I hope that will get me to sleep at a more normal time, even though I'll have to do the same time-shifting next week) and gradually got today's paper's front pages read and put under the pile. I read the A section of Sunday's (now five papers over there) and them came over here, thinking I would only post, but I'm in order so far and plan to try reading LJ.

My friend Doris Lew, who you probably see commenting sometimes, pointed at an article about middle-aged women killing themselves more than before, and why. I fit a lot of those reasons, but haven't tried to kill myself since 1987. I've gotten mostly used to how my life has changed with being sick and haven't thought about suicide for me for a couple decades now. I think I'll have to watch some of my friends, though.

The WashPost's religious page had an article by a :::gasp::: atheist. The comments are closed, but the majority are from people who feel their belief must be thrust on everyone. It isn't as if I wonder around talking about atheism. I thought I'd mention something similar that happened to me so I looked for the Beltway Atheists group and it turns out the original article is there and uncut.

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