September 1st, 2008

20111112, Marilee

Changes of Plans

I felt better yesterday, but stayed on fluids. Today I decided I was up to doing the grocery shopping, so I got cash for the week at the ATM, dropped two DVDs in the drive-by box at the post office, and got groceries at the Giant. I came back out and started the van, started to back out, and I couldn't turn the wheel. I tried to get back into the handicapped space, but only managed to get back over two handicapped spaces. Then again, I wasn't stuck in the driving aisle. Everything else was working, the tires were fine, and nothing looked weird under the car. I called USAA (towing is included in my car insurance) and they said it would be about an hour before the truck got there.

I rearranged groceries in the bags and took a bag of soon-perishable things in to the desk and asked if they would put them in a fridge until I could leave. Amanda very nicely did that (and I've emailed Giant already to tell them) and I went back out to the van to wait, noticing a puddle under the van -- probably power steering fluid. I realized I wouldn't be going to the psych appointment tomorrow and maybe not the primary appointment on Wednesday, so I called Kaiser's confirm and cancel appointment line. They only had the primary appointment. Apparently they mean it when they say nobody knows I see the psych. Other than all you guys and my IRL friends and anybody who happens to read, of course. I tried calling the psych department in case they cancelled, but nothing there. So I waited.

The tow truck driver called and said he was about 10 minutes away, so I went back in to get the groceries and Amanda very nicely brought them back. Then the truck came and the driver, laboring mightily, managed to turn the wheel so he could get the van on the bed of the tow truck. While he was doing that, I called a cab because I can't get up into tow trucks. The tow truck driver pulled out of the driving aisle and up to the front of the Giant (away from the curbcut and loading area) and started filling out forms. He called me "Mary" and I gave him my license to copy from and he actually wrote "Marylee" and said "mary LEE." He was being extra helpful, though, so I didn't correct him. As he finished with the forms, the cab arrived so he gave me my groceries and I got in the cab. The tow truck driver knew where the repair place was and I gave the cab driver directions as we went. They did have a key drop (I'd never noticed and wanted to stop there to be sure) so he unloaded the car and dropped the keys and the cab driver brought me home. I'll have to set the alarm for 7:15 tomorrow so I can wake up and call them, although they may figure out what's wrong from the puddle.

I also have to call Kaiser Manassas tomorrow so the desk clerks can tell the psych why I'm not coming.

Shiva has been breathing more rapidly than usually, I noticed last night, and then today, he's laying on the floor on his side some, which he doesn't usually do. He's spending more time on the heating pad, which he doesn't usually do, but he does sometimes do those things. I left a message for my mobile vet and emailed our friendly vet to see if I should call another cab and take him to the ER Vet.

Not quite what I planned for today! And the walking and standing makes me hurt. I've only taken acetaminophen in case I need to take Shiva out.
20111112, Marilee

Wallwalker -- Dream

The dream I had when I woke up was unusual. I was in a large building, like maybe a large barn or gym or something, with some friends and lot of people I didn't know. We listened to a speaker and he asked us to discuss what we thought about what he'd said with each other. I went looking for a friend to whom I needed to tell something and when I came back, there were little groups arguing with other groups. Then they started using some lumber and tools at the side of the building and started building tall walls around their group, making little cells.

I still had people I wanted to talk to, so I chinned and pulled up to the top of the walls and walked around on them and talked to the people I wanted to talk to. Then other people wanted me to carry messages to people in other groups, so I did that, too. And someone started calling me Wallwalker and at first it was just a silly name, but then some people started sneering -- Wallwalker, goes everywhere, lives nowhere. I told them I lived at my house, not in a little cell and I had food there and cats and all the outdoors to go through. And even if I didn't, I couldn't group up based on one belief, I had lots of beliefs. Some folks in different groups decided they wanted out, too, so I went looking in the lumber & tools for a ladder.

Then the speaker stepped out on a hidden balcony-like thing and said to Stop! I was ruining his research! There wasn't supposed to be someone like me, who wouldn't go into groups. So I told him if his research was ruined, the people might as well come out. I found a ladder and started letting people up and out, but some people were now so mad that they'd been tricked that they boosted each other up and out and some of the guys went after the speaker. He disappeared from the balcony and that's when I woke up.

I think my subsconscious thinks a bit much of itself. In real life, there'd be lots of people who saw what was happening and would stop it, plus people who wouldn't go into groups.