March 7th, 2008

20111112, Marilee

Angry Dreams

My stepmother woke me up this morning to tell me that the doctor thought Dad might be hanging on because not everybody had told him it okay to let go. She asked if I'd tell him that, and I said yes. I told him that when the body is ready to go, you really need to let it go. I reminded him that I'd thought about this a lot during the times I was close to dying and there's no use in being in pain just for a few more days, and that it was okay to let go. Then I went back to sleep, but I woke up at least three times, having dragged myself out of angry dreams where people were strangling me. The alarm went off at noon and I just turned it off and then managed to actually sleep for three hours. My wrist was about the same when I got up as it was when I went to bed and it's gotten better since. I was able to lift a 64oz bottle of cranberry juice without any pain.

I emailed my primary doctor last night because I knew he'd have gotten the info from Advice about the fall and I told him I just had a minor sprain. He emailed right back - reading his Kaiser email at 8:30pm! -- and said he could see me today if I wanted. I wrote back that I thought I could handle this, but I'd call if I needed help. My back is starting to hurt more so I think I'll have more Tylenol 3 tonight and see if that will ease it enough to feel better.

I'm going to try to do the chicken tonight, or at least half of it.