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Rick called me while I was putting up the BFAC auctions
(some really great stuff up today, bids already!) and said Dad had died in his sleep this morning, with a little help from morphine. Neither of us sounded very upset. Rick said there would be a funeral in a funeral home (not a church?) in about a week and then interment at Arlington National in a few weeks (they have a waiting list). I told him I wasn't going to the funeral, which he expected, but I might find a way to go to the interment. I haven't seen Mother's part of the headstone since I've been sick because their grave is on a steep grassy hill. Early in his marriage with Sue, they decided that Dad would be buried with Mother and Sue in a family plot that was set aside.
I mostly feel released. I'm sure it's too early to know all the feelings, but will it be that easy? He's gone and I don't have to fight against him again?Tags: family
Glad's not quite the right word -- but I am relieved for you.
Regardless of what other feelings come with the passage of time, the release you feel right now is very real (and hard earned).
May love and comfort surround you through this time of transition, and for all time ahead.
Thank you, Kai, I hope so, too!
|Date:||March 9th, 2008 10:58 pm (UTC)|| |
I am sorry for your loss, Marilee. Yes, you feel released and don't have to fight anymore, but it's still a loss and there will be mixed feelings. I wish you strength.
Thanks, Doris, and I know you'll be there to help. :)
I hope the feeling of release grows into better things. :-)
I hope you can find strength and peace.
|Date:||March 9th, 2008 11:25 pm (UTC)|| |
Marilee, I can understand your feelings, having heard over recent years how the relationship was. It's still a big thing to adjust to. I wish I could help.
Thanks, Kip. I appreciate it.
|Date:||March 9th, 2008 11:43 pm (UTC)|| |
I'm glad for your relief and sorry for your loss--not of the person he was, it seems, but of what might have been.
|Date:||March 10th, 2008 12:13 am (UTC)|| |
May you and Rick find comfort.
How strange for you guys. I hope things will be easy and continue to feel relieving.
It is a little odd, but he was not a nice person. Thanks. :)
|Date:||March 10th, 2008 02:36 am (UTC)|| |
You know -- I had a much better relationship with my mother, and when it came to the final moment release was among the feelings I had: release that I didn't have to worry any more about what would happen to her.
One of the things that did come to me somewhat later was a weird feeling of impossibility -- how could I even exist if I had no mother? It was different with my father, but along the same lines.
Since you have lived a long time without your father, you may find it quite different.
I don't know what I'll feel, I'll just let you guys know as I feel it.
Don't have the right words but thinking good thoughts your way.
|Date:||March 10th, 2008 07:53 am (UTC)|| |
Good thoughts and comfort to you and your family.
May you be able to lay his ghost to rest.
Thank you. I've hardly thought of him today, so I don't think it will be too hard. I hope.
|Date:||March 10th, 2008 10:23 am (UTC)|| |
Thinking of you, Marilee. Feeling relief under the circumstances is the reaction I'd expect. Be gentle to yourself.
And today's your birthday, no? I hope you do something for yourself to make it special.
Thanks, Janet! Yes, since it's my birthday and I get more protein, I had a small steak out for lunch. More food than I usually eat, but it was a nice treat and just within my protein limit for the day. :)