I called Verizon and got the "Good news! Your DSL is Active!" recording bit again, and a note that there were no trouble tickets open. I maneuvered my way to a tech who said they'd tried to contact me several times with no answer. I reiterated that I don't have a phone attached to the DSL line and they must call me on my cell phone. She only made me reboot the modem & computer (which I'd already done) and when I reported that the diagnostics said I still didn't have an IP address, she talked to her supervisor and they're going to send a tech out.
I explained that the last time they sent a tech out, he was getting letter by letter instructions for the browser from the person on the other end of the phone and I ended up typing ahead of the other person and if that was the type of tech they were sending again, it wouldn't help. She said that's all her manager authorized. So I have to be up at 8am Friday and the tech gets to come between 8am and 7pm. I'll go back to sleep in the recliner once I have meds and the cats are fed, but it wasn't what I had planned for Friday. I now have my fourth trouble ticket.